Sunday, 3 July 2016

Dog piss and picnics!

So anyone with small children will know that going out for a 'nice' picnic can be a difficult enough task at the best of times.

Twice this week I have attempted it and twice it has been ruined. Today quite literally pissed upon!

Monday my Mayte and I went for a walk to burn off the bum and had a picnic in the local park estate.

There we sat with 2 toddlers and two babes. The toddlers were eating their picnics nicely and I was feeding my baby her first taste of mangoes (thanks to a lovely Ella's pouch). My little girl was loving it! She thought this was quite amazing.

Until a a cocker spaniel came running through our picnic up ending the toddlers snacks and rummaging through baby bags.

I grabbed the dog by the collar and waited for the owner to eventually appear!

"Oh he's not dangerous!" Well not the point but fine. We asked that they put the dog on the lead if he couldn't be recalled.

The owner walked 100 yards away with the dog in arm and then put it back down.

At this point the little bugger ran full speed back to us with purpose, snatched the toddlers snacks away and then proceeded to run about all over our things. Whist removing the babies from its path I had had to put the pouch down which the dog then grabbed and ate!

Well fuck me! The guy just ran back over laughing! I wasn't. My baby's first pouch gone, the Tupperware with teeth marks in it and the rest of the food for the kids now inside a dog!

Another half arsed apology and the man was gone. Pissed off we went to the pub for wine and chips.

My baby settled for boob and to be honest no lasting harm was done. Although I proceeded to bitch about it for the next several hours!

Then today again, my husband and I are sat having a picnic (in a different park). The toddler is eating his sandwiches and the baby is kicking about on the floor. A dog wanders over. I put my arm between the baby and the dog, and the owner shouts at me from 100 yards. "For god sake he won't do anything!"

Except it did! The fucking thing pissed all over my baby bag. Soaking the nappies, the snacks, the spare clothes and everything else in stinking urine!!

"Well I didn't know it was going to that!" Was all the owner said! And with that she walked off!

Needless to say I did not handle it with much class or decorum. I was fucking livid. The little girl that she was with (don't know if it was her daughter) apologised to me and ran after the woman shouting at her for not saying sorry.

I heard her say that she had apologised. She hadn't and I lost it. I walked over to her and pointed out that she hadn't had the curtesy to apologise to me. She laughed and said there wasn't anything she could do anyway. I considered walloping the woman but thought better of it. Childishly I called her a chav and stormed off. Not my finest hour.

I was so fricking mad but what can you do in these situations? Sodding nothing!

What makes it worse is we have to leave our dog at home when we do these things because she is such a little shit, she just barks at any other dog that comes near us. But because she is such a little shit she is kept on the lead when we do go out.

Why just because someone doesn't consider their dog to be dangerous do they think they can let it do what ever it damn well feels like? A dog doesn't need to be aggressive to be dangerous it just needs to be poorly controlled.

I quite frankly think that from now on I am going to take my little Hellion dog out with me for picnics and the next time someone's dog comes trampling through, they can take their chances with her!

Erghhhh pass the wine!

The Pramshed


  1. I will be honest, my dog has done this before however I did apologuse profusely! And he has never weed on anyone - I would kill him! I hope you eventually do get your picnic without any dogs destroying it, I can't think of anything worse! I also leave Bertie at home becasuse he is a little shit, too! #fortheloveofBlog

  2. We have all had these moments with our dogs. I think it was just the total lack of humility on both occasions that got me! I love my shitty dog but if [when] she behaves badly I apologise immediately..I don't laugh! Bertie sounds like a legend! 😂😂

  3. Oh no! I would have been fuming, poor you! #fortheloveofBLOG