Sunday, 12 June 2016

bad mummy

I am so cross with myself. I am literally the worst mummy into the world! 😫

My babies have been sick for a week. Vomiting, diarrhoea, temperatures, which as children go is pretty much the norm...mostly.

This time, I knew it was a bit different, they have been REALLY sick. Watery stool and projectile vomit for days on end. The nurse in me just wrote it off as a bad case of gastroenteritis. Don't bother the Dr unless you need to. Most children can be looked after at home. No need to panic, don't take them to the GP. Care for them in the home... 48 hours clear.. And all that jazz.

But.. I think I was wrong. Bollocks to my degree. Bollocks to my training. My kids are really sick and if I had listened to the mummy in me rather than the healthcare professional I would have called the GP on Friday and had them checked over.

Instead my toddler already looks like something out of an Oxfam advert and my previously fatty bum baby is all skinny and gone from growing out of 3-6 month vests back in to her 0-3 month clothes.

My toddler, who I was sure was getting better, has just filled his bed with puke and thrown up the first meal he has eaten in a week.

I am filled with emotions..

My first is fury with myself for not acting sooner.

My second is disappointment with the nursery. They had put a note on the door saying there was sickness going around. But this is not a virus. I don't believe it is a virus. Have they been informed that any child has had food poisoning or a bacterial infection?

While I have been writing this, I have had a phone call from a friend who's child is also sick (who hasn't had contact with mine) who thinks they have caught it from the playground.

Sometimes we don't realise that children are as sick as they are. Sometimes we don't realise they are sick at all.

This time I can't help but think that there is someone with a test result that says this isn't a virus. This is bacterial. This is more serious and we haven't been told.

I will be getting sample pots in the morning and I will be sending shit and puke and anything else that comes out of my babies because they are not getting better and they should be by now.

Sometimes we have to trust our gut as a mummy and fuck the reasonable rationale voice in our head. Sometimes they are wrong and this time I FEAR THEY ARE.

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