So most of my posts so far have made me sound like I don't really like my kids. That is so not the case. I adore my children. They are my favourite people.
But, my children are the biggest frustration of my life. I am frustrated by my toddler's complete unwillingness to try and learn when I teach him, and I am completely infuriated when he then demonstrates that 'unlearned' knowledge at another and un-witnessed time.
I develop a migraine before we eat out with the stress of everything that can go wrong and resign myself to being 'that mum' in the restaurant that can't control her children, and then am blown away when they behave beautifully.
I don't have mum guilt. My husband and I were, apparently, both absolute arse-hole children so why should we expect better?
By all accounts ours actually are better. Our baby barely makes a peep unless she is hungry, my brother is actually convinced she is one of the animatronic babies from 'call the midwife' and our toddler although really fucking loud can be an absolute superstar.
That doesn't though stop the fact that sometimes he is the most frustrating little fucker I have ever come across.
My love and devotion to him does not stop me wanting to drop kick him out our kitchen window. It merely stops me from actually doing it.
To me talking about being a parent is to actually acknowledge all parts of it. Without guilt. Without censorship. And without saying what I think others should think I should say. Being a parent is hard but it's fun and funny!
So I do bitch about my kids, I do joke about wanting to beat them with sticks or give them away (they would be given back pretty quickly) but then I put them to bed and have a glass of wine and miss them while they are sleeping!
Parenting is the biggest contradiction of them all!