Sunday 12 June 2016

Sucking the snot

My husband reminded me last night of the funniest conversation, so I just had to share...

When my son was about 4 months old he, and it seemed every other baby, had the most horrendous cold. He was so congested he was sleeping in his bouncy chair as he just couldn't breathe properly if he led in his cot. Poor little buba!

Since every other baby in the world seemed to also have a cold I went to baby group, (you know the one you should go to) and joined a group of mummies and their babies chatting about these awful colds.

One mummy had sent her husband out in the middle of the night to get a Calpol plug-in to try, another had purchased a bulb syringe to perform a nasal lavage. There were various contraptions and inventions that had been employed (I am sure all with their unique benefits!) including a mains powered paediatric nasal suction kit! Others had tried more conventional methods such as Olbas oil on the sleeping bag or burning Eucalyptus in a burner.

The one thing that all these methods had in common was that they had been pretty ineffective.

One of the mummies then looked at my little monkey who was busy gumming on a toy suitable for ages 2+ and noticed that he was looking a little less snot ridden than some of the other babies.

"What have you tried?" She asked politely.

"I just sucked the snot out!" I replied. O.M.G!!!!! The looks I got!

I have to explain here that my little buddy was really suffering, I had him in the bathroom with me while I showered so the steam would help loosen it but he was just too bunged up, so I bought him into the shower with me as I thought it might be easier to get some of the snot out if his nose and face were all wet but he was just desperate, so I stuck my mouth around his nose and sucked all the snot right out of there. I'm not going to lie, it was disgusting. There was loads of it. It was thick and green and really grim. I sucked it out and spat it straight down the drain of the shower and my little boy was so relieved. He smiled and relaxed and we got dressed and went to baby group.

Back to the faces....shock and disgust, I caused quite a disturbance in the ranks. My best mummy friend, my maayte, thought the whole thing was hilarious and was in the background pissing herself with laughter, but I was a bit surprised at the silence and then I was really embarrassed that I had told everybody.

That wasn't the funny conversation that I was telling you all about...that came later when I was recounting the whole story, snot sucking, baby group mums and all to my sister in law. Her answer was priceless..

"I don't see what the big deal is...It's no different than a blow job!"

18 comments:

  1. Hahaha I love this it's great. I remember a conversation with a mummy friend about when my son got a pea stuck up his nose and I sucked it out, it was the only way I tried everything it was last resort before we took him to the docs. She looked at me like I was so gross but hey, I would do it again. I don't see the problem. #KCACOLS

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    1. Ha! It is totally grim, but hey if it works! thanks for the comment x

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  2. lol lol this really made me laugh what a great post! #KCACOLS

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  3. Omg just vommed in my mouth a bit for at least two different reasons. I'm...thanks?

    #fartglitter

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  4. Wow why have I never thought of doing that?! #KCACOLS

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    1. You must have an acceptable standard of gross. Apparently mine is pretty low!

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  5. Oh god. I can't unread this now can I??
    I love the snot sucker but going straight to the source? Yeurgh! Thanks for linking to #chucklemums (I think??)

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    1. No it will stick with you forever! Mwaahaa

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  6. I love how honest you are. When my baby was 3 weeks old she caaught the most horrendous cold from my husband who had a right stinker of one. Anyhow the poor little might was struggling to breathe especially when I breast fed her so I moaned to my husband about how he gave her the cold and how bunged up she was and he then sucked the snot from her nose as well. He said it was better to do that than to put up with my moaning! It worked a treat!

    Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday

    Rachel x

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    1. Ha ha! That is both lovely and not at the same time! he sounds like a keeper!!! x

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  7. Best end line to a blog ever! I never got as desperate enough to suck snot out but totally would if I had to (probably). #chucklemums

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  8. Best end line to a blog ever! I never got as desperate enough to suck snot out but totally would if I had to (probably). #chucklemums

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  9. This just made me do such a loud laugh - it really isn't!!!! #chucklemums

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  10. I was really expecting this to be about using one of the aspirators that you suck. I could never bring myself to use one of those, even though they don't let the snot reach your mouth. So that probably tells you how I feel about the idea of sucking it straight from the nose! Your sister in law does actually have a point though, now I think about it! #fartglitter

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